To Have Loved And Lost
by FMB
Summary: Arthur and Alfred play with magic as they grow up.


I sat in the room with the sliding door across from the garage door and the computer desk with a broken computer that no one in my family wanted to attempt to fix. I had my large black book on my lap, crushing my thighs a little, but I enjoyed the feeling. I would rub the corners of the pages so much that they've become soft compared to the stiff, crumbly feeling the rest of the pages would give me. The words were written in white on midnight black pages and they were long and challenging to pronounce, but I didn't mind. Even if I didn't understand the purpose of them, I believed in the power they held and the amazing things they could do when spoken just right.

The only issue is….

I don't know how to say it just right. Well, that's not entirely true. Sometimes I don't know how to say it just right. Sometimes like… at school. For show-and-tell, for example. In front of all those jerky brat-faces that are mean to me! I just wanted them to get a taste of their own medicine!

But no, because I just couldn't get the spell out before I was hit by a shoe! Though, I bet even if I did get it out, it wouldn't work anyway… I'm never able to get it to work in front of other people…

There was this one spell, though. The one I'm looking at right now. I've never been able to get this one, regardless of the presence of others or not, and it was really starting to bug me. I had been reading and re-reading this spell for the past hour, and now I felt it was time to try it out once more.

I cleared my throat and sat up straight, readjusting the book on my lap and taking in a slow breath before reading out the words, nice and clear. Just as the last word slipped from my mouth, I saw it. A small flicker in the room I was in. In the briefest of moments, my computer desk and crappy computer had been replaced by a couch to accompany the new one that had replaced the one I was sitting on. The sliding door's blinds were closed, even though they were open just a second ago. The carpet was the same, but there was a dark stain in the corner which looked a little like wine.

Just as I saw it, it was gone, and I let out my breath I hadn't noticed I held before looking around my still-normal computer room. Then, I noticed the faintest noise. The rhythmic woosh-ing of a washing machine and the light humming of someone in this empty-aside-from-me house. I stood and turned towards the garage door, which was now wide open, and there stood an older, somewhat transparent man with blond hair and green eyes like mine, shoving clothes into a washing machine that wasn't there before.

I dropped the book in shock and amazement, making the man flinch and turn towards me, then gasping out a quick, "Bloody hell…!" before he, too, flickered out of sight. I just stood there for a while, staring at the now empty spot where the washing machine and the man were with my jaw practically to my knees.

….

I had come home crying today. It was show-and-tell day and I was determined to show off the new spell I learned, but, like always, it didn't work when it came time to present. I cried the entire way home, but my mom was too busy in a call meeting or something. When we got home, I went to the backyard and climbed the giant oak tree we had, hiding myself in the drooping leaves and the twisted branches. I continued crying to myself while nested between two thick branches that kept me from falling off the side of the one I was sitting in. They were almost like arms holding me, but they weren't warm enough to comfort.

During the middle of my sobbing, I heard a small shout from over the fence. I tried to keep quiet, clapping my hands over my quivering lips and dripping nose, but I still hiccupped and tears still trickled down my face.

"Hey!" The voice came again, "Hey, who's crying?"

I sat still for a moment longer, not wanting to be found, but still so curious as to who could be calling out to me. It sounded like a little kid like me, but I wasn't sure. After another small 'hey!', I decided to investigate. I climbed out of my little cradle and moved through the branches until I was peeking just over the fence at a boy about my age with dirty blond hair and bright blue eyes. He looked up at me and grinned wide.

"Were you crying?" He asked me and I quickly shook my head no.

"I don't cry. I'm a boy." I huffed defiantly, making him laugh a little.

"Hey! You're that kid from show-and-tell, right?" He nearly shouted. I turned bright red and he laughed a little more, "You think magic is real, right?"

"It is real!" I shouted, still bright red, but he didn't seem to believe me.

"Well, even if it is, you suck at it!" He teased and I stuck my tongue out at him. He looked around for a minute, then pulled up some lawn chairs and stood on them so he was a little closer to me. Only his head poked over his fence.

"Hey, you really think it's real?" He asked me, and I nodded immediately. He grinned wider and asked, "Well, will you show me?"

I gave him a confused look, "I thought you didn't believe?"

He shrugged, "Maybe you just get stage scare? I get stage scared." I frowned a little and rested my arms on the edge of the fence, still straddling one of the branches in my tree.

"I do get nervous… but never scared!" I claimed, but he never stopped smiling.

"So will you show me?" He asked again. I sighed and thought about it. My mom was home, but that didn't mean she was watching me. She was probably still on her call or doing some other kind of work. Plus, if he was just in my backyard, she would never know, right?

"Alright… but you're only allowed in my backyard, okay?" I dropped down from the tree and went to open the side gate that led to the driveway. In a few minutes, the blond popped out from his own side gate and practically skipped to mine, ducking into my backyard and looking around excitedly.

"Whoa, it's so huge!" He commented and I went into my house really quickly to get the book. When I came back, he was trying to climb my oak tree and I let him, helping him up, then climbing in right beside him with the book resting open on my lap. He looked down at the words with a troubled expression, but I didn't ask him what the matter was. I knew the words were complicated and long.

I flipped to a random page in my book, my hands shaking a little from determination. I just want one person to believe I can do it! I just want to show one!

I found a spell and took a slow breath, then began murmuring the words, focusing hard on the power and the strength they held. The boy watched me closely, unnerving me a little. When I got to the end, I bit my lip and waited, but nothing happened.

"Is that it?" He asked me and I lowered my head in shame. He let out a disappointed huff, then gripped my shoulder and shook me until I looked at him, "Hey, you don't have to be nervous, you know!"

I stared at him in surprise as he took my hand and shook it a few times, "I'm Alfred, by the way. You're Arthur, right?" I nodded my answer and he smiled, "Alright, Arthur, try again!"

"Why do you want me to? You don't believe me, anyway." I muttered moodily and he rolled his eyes at me.

"My daddy always says to keep trying 'til you succeed! So either you're gunna do some magic or you're gunna die trying!" He said with determination, influencing me to give it one more shot. I nodded slowly at first, then sped up my movements and sat up straight.

"Yeah! I'll show you!" I cried bravely, flipping to the spell I had just learned how to use the other day. I took in a deep breath, focused on the words, then chanted them so quickly and so strongly that my entire backyard pulsed with each line. The grass shuddered and the tree groaned. Alfred glanced around in shock, but I continued on with the spell, not even stopping to take a breath until I reached the final word.

Once the spell was done, the world flickered again, but this time it flickered ten times, though it was quick. The tree we were sitting on had grown larger and more branches slouched downwards, as if carrying itself was too much of a burden for it to be bothered with. The grass flickered from being the plain green grass it had always been in my life to being spotted with daisies and lined with rose bushes, among other flowers. There was a new tree in the other corner of the backyard, and connecting the two trees was a wire line encased with white plastic where clothes hung.

Alfred and I let our mouths drop open, but soon enough, the flashes were gone. We turned to one another, me wearing a look of absolute shock and him wearing a look of absolute amazement.

Then we heard a soft humming coming, and when we turned back, we saw that man I saw before. He was hanging the clothes on the line that only became visible where he touched it. He was transparent like before, and he didn't seem to notice us.

Alfred gripped my arm tightly, his face paling a little. The older blond man glanced over to his left, then gasped and shrieked right before a second man appeared, grabbing the blond around the waist and lifting him into the air, spinning him around happily and making the blond laugh.

Just as the taller one, the brunette man, lowered the blond so they could kiss, Alfred shrieked out "Ghosts!"

The two immediately looked up and at us, the blond giving Alfred a confused look, then looking over me with a less confused look. The brunette looked surprised and muttered, "What the f-" before they flickered out of view, the shirt the blond had hung disappearing along with them.

When they were gone, Alfred let out a small breath, then gripped me tightly and shook his head, "I've no clue what you just did…."

I started to worry, wondering if he'd run off and tell all the adults. I didn't want mom to take my book away, but she would if she thought I was doing harm with it. I was about to apologize, but Alfred spoke first.

"That was so cool!" He cried, shaking me back and forth roughly, "You have to do it again!"

I shook my head, my mouth flopping open and closed like a suffocating guppy before I found my words, "I can't do it twice in one day! I'm not that strong yet!"

This deflated Alfred and made him pout a little before he perked up with a new idea, "Well, okay, I'll just come back tomorrow, then!"

My eyes widened considerably and I asked in a small voice, "You mean… kind of like… sort of…"

"Friends, o'course!" Alfred confirmed, and I smiled in disbelief.

"You want to be my friend…?" I asked next, making the boy next to me nod happily. I smiled even more and he just started laughing at me. I laughed a little too.

~-.-~

I was at school, sitting underneath the water fountain in an attempt to hide myself from three six graders who have been calling me names and trying to take my backpack. I was shaking a little as I hid.

"Twinkle-toes! Where'd you go?" I heard one of the three boys yell.

"Are you gunna show us your magic trick?" The second teased.

I peeked out from between the indent in the wall and the bulky water fountain to see if they were gone, but doing this simply gave away my position and the three boys ran over to me, the biggest one grabbing me by my arms and pulling me out from my hiding spot.

I started kicking and screaming, but no one was around to hear me. It's been an hour since school ended, and mom was running late in picking me up. They put me on my feet, then shoved me against the off-white walls, making me drop my backpack and all the papers in it scatter across the glossy-but-not-linoleum floor. I gasped when one of the smaller boys picked up my bag and started filling it with water before throwing it in the trashcan.

"So, little fairy boy, why don't you magic yourself out of here?" the biggest one asked me, stepping close to me and grabbing the front of my shirt tightly, twisting it a little. I shook my head as a response, too scared to actually say anything, but that just made him angrier. He pulled me away from the wall only to slam be back against it, yelling, "Say something!"

"Hey!" We all heard shouted from down the hall, making the three boys flinch and turn. I tried to turn, too, but before I could see who it was, the bully threw me against the ground. I heard fast footsteps coming towards us, but I still couldn't see and I stayed on the ground, covering my head just in case he decided to kick me.

"What are you doing? That's my nerd!" The person said, shocking me a little. His voice was loud, but familiar. He was definitely a kid, too. He continued on, saying, "You can't bully him! I'm his personal bully! I already have dibs!"

Carefully, I peeked out from my arms to see Alfred standing there bravely with his hands on his hips. I gave him a confused look. I thought we were friends?

"You can't call dibs to bully someone!" The sixth grader claimed, but Alfred shook his head and crossed his arms.

"I can and I did! He's my nerd! Dibs!" Alfred yelled defiantly, much louder than he really needed to. The three sixth graders looked at each other, then back at Alfred.

"I'll fight you for him." The biggest one said, and Alfred shook his head.

"Nope. He's mine!" Alfred said angrily, then he yelped and ducked when the sixth grader threw a punch at him. Alfred glared a little at the boy, then took off his backpack and jumped on the guy, tearing at his hair and face and letting out a loud wail while he did it. I quickly got away to find a teacher or a janitor or someone, but just when I appeared in one of the doorways to a classroom, one of the sixth graders tackled me and started punching and kicking me.

"Maybe if I hit you hard enough, you'll start bleeding sparkles!" The kid grunted at me, grabbing my hair and punching me just across my upper lip. It was brutal, but the teacher heard and came out, yelling at the boy to stop it and even grabbing at him before heading off to settle Alfred's fight.

After the teacher got everything under control, she brought me and Alfred to the nurse's office. She made us sit across the room from the three sixth graders. As we sat there, me holding an icepack to my cheek and Alfred rubbing a large square band-aid on his chin, we looked at each other and begun to laugh.

"Your nose is all swollen!" I snorted, leaning forward a little in pain from the bruises that were likely forming around my gut, but it didn't stop me from laughing.

"Your lip looks like a grape!" He jabbed back, and we both continued giggling with each other. The sixth graders stared at us like we were insane, but they didn't attack or anything. They wouldn't when they were in the nurse's office.

After some time, the three sixth graders were taken into the principal's office and Alfred and I just sat in the nurse's room, waiting for our parents to show up. By the time Alfred's mom came, we were still laughing harder than ever before, and when he stood up, he held out a bloodied hand to me and said, "I'm your bully from now on!"

"I thought you were my friend?" I asked, still smiling, and I grasped his hand and shook it.

"Yeah, well, I can be both!" He claimed, then went to his mother's side and followed her out, smiling at her when she asked if he was okay.

When my mom arrived, she just pushed me into the car and drove home, apologizing to someone over the phone for the inconvenience.

~-.-~

"Hey, dude!" I heard from over the fence, and I grinned a little. I climbed up the tree in my backyard and peered over the fence, seeing my friend standing there with his hands in his jean pockets.

"Hello, Alfred." I replied, resting my arms on the fence and watching him rock back and forth on the balls of his feet. We were seniors in high school now, and still great friends/bullies.

"Doing any magic today?" He asked me, finding a cooler in the corner of his backyard and dragging it over, stepping on it, then lifting himself onto the fence so he was straddling it. I put my head on my arms and shrugged.

"Do you want to see any?" I asked, "You know, like a graduation celebration?"

He nodded eagerly, hopping off the fence and into my backyard, then sitting on the tree. I got up to go get my black book, smiling a little to see the small notes and papers sticking out from the pages. Throughout the years, Alfred and I have been practicing the spells in my backyard, him watching and encouraging me. Sadly, whenever we used the spell that initially started out friendship, we never really saw the ghosts.

The last time I saw the ghosts was when I was alone in my bed a few years ago, and they were in the middle of my room, just dancing. They looked so happy, just swaying back and forth and back again, holding onto each other with their eyes closed. There was no music, or none that I could hear, and I just laid there quietly, watching them dance. A whole minute had gone by before they pulled away from each other, the brunette smiling at the blond and letting go of his hand, then flickering out of sight. The blond stood there for a minute longer, then let out a content sigh and wrapped his arms around himself, flickering out of sight, too.

Somehow, it made me sad, but happy at the same time.

Anyway, I grabbed the book and flipped through it as I walked back outside to where Alfred waited on the tree. I saw a little drawing Alfred did of me when we were much younger. I had spiked teeth and a mean glare, and the speech bubble beside it read in crude writing, "My name is Arthur and I'm a British idiot"

When I reached Alfred, he smiled at me and patting the branch he was sitting on, letting me join him. I rested the book on my lap and flipped through the spell, not finding a single one we hadn't done.

"What do you want to celebrate with?" I asked him, and he shrugged and thought about it for a little before taking the book off of me and flipping through the thin pages, looking for the drawing I did of the two ghosts. When he found it, he grinned and handed it back.

"Let's see if we can find them again!" He suggested, and I gave him an unsure look.

"I don't know, Al, it's a pretty strong spell…" I muttered, but he scoffed at me and shoved me gently.

"You can do it! I know you can! You've done it before, right?" He reassured me, then grinned when I let out a defeated sigh.

"Fine, but only once. Where do you want to cast it?" I asked, and he shrugged and stayed sitting. I rolled my eyes, "They might not be in the backyard, you know."

"I know, but we can still try." He smiles a gentle smile at me, further convincing me. How dare he and his picture-perfect smile! I felt the need to shove him a little, but I didn't. I did take a fistful of hair and tug on it, though, making him yelp and whine.

"Your hair got darker!" I mused, and he made an unintelligible noise and brushed his fingers through his now brown-ish hair.

"Oh yeah, I guess. All that running around outside for sports and shit." I gave him a scolding look and he laughed, then said, "Fuck, Artie, don't fucking tell me what the hell I should say, damn!"

I snorted and pushed him off the tree with a rough shove, then adjusted the book on my lap as he laughed harder and got to his feet. I tried to keep a straight face, but my lips kept twitching upwards. He patted down his pants and I took in a deep breath, then began chanting out the words with an even and clear voice. Alfred watched me for half the spell, then put a hand on my knee and looked out to the rest of the backyard.

The grass shivered and the leaves around us whispered against one another, and the entire yard pulsed with energy. My words almost slipped in surprise at the strength of the spell, but I kept chanting, feeling a small tremor in my chest. It was then that I noticed that not only was my backyard pulsing, but my house was, too. Alfred looked around in confusion, and when I finally finished the spell, he looked at me and I looked at him, then we both took off for the house, throwing the sliding door open and diving inside.

"There you are!" We immediately heard, the blond ghost from before turning to greet us with a bowl in his hand, then gasping and dropping the bowl, making his crash and shatter against the floor. Alfred leaned a little closer to me and tugged on my sleeve, then whispered, "Artie... is that... you?"

My own brows rose in surprise and I stared a little harder, the transparent man's features starting to stand out to me. Messy blond hair, bushy dark eyebrows, bright green eyes. I opened my mouth to say something, but the 'ghost' said something first.

"You would think I would be more prepared..." He muttered, standing straight and disposing of the shards in the trash bin that flickered into existence when it came into contact, "You two show up at the worst times."

"S... sorry?" I attempted to apologize, unsure if he could hear us or not. He looked up at us, then turned back to the sink to continue washing dishes.

"Don't be." He answered me, and Alfred gripped tighter to my sleeve.

"If that's you, then who was that guy you were kissing forever ago?" Alfred whispered in my ear, and I swallowed nervously. I didn't even know I was gay...This couldn't be me.

"It's not me." I replied softly, getting a loud snort from the ghost washing dishes. My eyes widened, feeling quite offended, and I said strictly, "Pardon?"

"Oh, it's nothing, lad, don't listen to me." He replied quickly, glancing over his shoulder and waving the question away,

"Regardless, I'll be going soon. I can feel it. Stop using this bloody spell."

"W-wait, who was the guy you were kissing?" Alfred asked loudly, getting a surprised look from the ghost. He opened his mouth to answer, then flickered out, leaving me and Alfred alone in the kitchen. We both stood there silently, then Alfred began grinning and I knew what was coming. I shot my hands to my ears just in time to muffle out the loud, "Oh my God, Artie, you little fag! When were you going to tell me?"

"Shut up! I'm not gay!" I shouted back, embarrassed, "That wasn't me!"

"You were all over that guy!" He kept teasing, turning to me and shoving me playfully. My cheeks heated up and I shoved back, pouting a little.

"That wasn't me." I repeated, a little disgruntled. He kept laughing at me, then went to my fridge and dug out a water bottle, popping it open and pressing it to his lips.

"I wish he told me who it was. Then I could pick on him, too." He sighed out afterwards, capping his bottle. I rolled my eyes and put the book on the kitchen table.

"Well we could always try again during the summer. It's not like we live far away." I suggested, and Alfred lowered his bottle, then looked down at the floor with a troubled expression. I immediately got worried and asked, "You're not leaving anywhere, right? Alfred?"

"Actually... Uh... I signed up." He said to me, squeezing the plastic bottle in his hands nervously.

"Signed... up? For what?" I questioned, though I already had a clue as to what. He shrugged and shuffled his feet before answering, "The army..."

I stared at him for a while, then shook my head and said, "No. You can't. You can't do that! I'm not letting you!"

"Why not?" Alfred challenged, then sighed and muttered, "I knew you wouldn't like it. I didn't want to tell you..."

"So you were just going to disappear? What kind of bloody friend are you?" I shouted and he rolled his eyes at me.

"I'll be fine, Artie, it's just for a few years! I can take care of myself there!" He tried to reason, but I wouldn't have it. I kept yelling at him and at one point I took his bottled water and threw it at him.

"You're not going! You're going to college with me!" I demanded, but he just shook his head.

"I can't afford it, Artie. I'm not rich! I don't have all those scholarships like you do!" He said, and I just sat at the table with my head in my hands, not wanting to hear it, "I'll be fine. I'll come back home in two years in one piece. What kind of friend would I be if I didn't, huh? Anyways, it's not like I'm actually going to go out to war or anything."

"You might..." I replied solemnly, and I heard the chair to my right squeak as Al sat down.

"Even if there is a war, I'll come back to you." He put a hand on my shoulder and I looked at him again. He gave me a reassuring smile that only made me feel worse.

"When are you leaving?" I asked slowly, keeping my eyes on him.

"Tomorrow." I turned away, distraught. He just sighed and waited for me to speak. When I was ready, I turned to him finally, then put my hands on his cheeks and squished his face roughly, my face growing angrier as I tugged and pinched his cheeks. He grunted in pain, but didn't try to stop me. Instead, he begun laughing a little -well, between yelps and winces- and I grew a little angrier and shoved his face back.

"If you die, I'll kill you!" I shouted, making him laugh behind my palm and muffle out, "But, Artie, I'll already be dead!"

"Then I'll bring you back to life and kill you again!" I tried again, still shoving. He laughed a little more, then grabbed my wrist and pulled it away before saying, "I'll miss you, too, Arthur..."

"Git. Sod off." I grumbled, pushing him towards the door and making him grin.

"Will you see me off tomorrow, then? Eight o'clock!" He asked me, opening the door and leaning against the frame. I smiled a little and nodded.

"Eight o'clock..." I repeated, and he left.

-~.~-

I sat alone in my oak tree at seven forty-seven the next morning, hugging my hefty spellbook close to my chest and trying to decide whether or not I should go see him. I could hear him packing in his room, blasting his crappy rock music and sometimes singing along to it. I kept hugging the book and closed my eyes tightly, unable to come to a decision.

I leaned back against the tree, keeping my balance on the groaning branch beneath me as I came to a conclusion. Well, it wasn't really a conclusion... more of a way to get more time.

I needn't open the book as I started chanting the spell I knew by heart. It would only get me five minutes a time, but it was enough to give me a small sense of security, knowing that it wouldn't be too late if I wanted to see him.

The funny thing was... when I finally finished uttering the last few words, I realized I had said the wrong spell. My eyes widened the the air around me pulsed so strongly that my heart palpitated and my teeth chattered. The very tree I sat on seemed to grow beneath me, and I could see Alfred peer out his window curiously, but he had too much packing to do and didn't come to my aid.

Strangely, the pulses only seemed to concentrate around my tree and when it all finished and the flickering and shivering ended, I let out a small sigh of relief.

Then I froze up again when I heard a soft sob coming from the other side of the tree. I nervously peeked over to see the older me who couldn't possibly be me sitting against the trunk of the tree with his knees to his chest and his face in his hands, crying softly.

I gulped anxiously and got down from the tree, then knelt down beside him, gaining his attention. When he saw me, he sniffed and muttered a different spell, sending one last quake between us before he became completely opaque. My eyes widened a little and he smiled at me, then wiped his eyes and says, "You'll learn that later... In England."

"So... you are me? The real me?" I asked softly, getting a nod from the man. I let out a surprised breath, then muttered, "Bloody hell... I'm gay..."

He laughed softly and shook his head, tears still rolling down his cheeks.

"We're not. We just... fell in love with one man. We had women, too, don't worry." He reassured me shakily, getting an excited grin from me. But then I frowned a bit and I sat with him, curious to know, "Why are you crying?"

He smiled sadly, then looked down at his knees and began rubbing the cloth. "My husband... he got drafted into the army..." My eyes widened a little, knowing all too well what that meant. War. And a bad one at that if people were getting drafted.

"But... but if there's war, then that means-"

"Yes. Alfred will get drafted in your future." Other me finished my sentence, looking even more depressed than before, "But it's my present, now."

"He got drafted today? Well... your today?" I questioned, then asked next, "And when did your- er... our husband get drafted?"

Arthur smiled a little and mumbled, "Today."

I let out a defeated sigh and allowed my shoulders to sag and my eyes to drop down to the ground, "My God... I'm alone, then, aren't I...?"

"Yes... And the thing I fear most is that my husband will not be able to survive this war."

"What? Why's that?" I asked quickly, my chest aching as if he were talking about my own lover, if I had one.

"Well... When he was last enlisted, he sustained terrible injuries. His body can't handle any more abuse..." Older me explained, and I shook my head slowly.

"But... Alfred will be there to protect him! He always protects people!" I hoped to point out, but I only got a sad smile from him instead.

"Arthur... When I was your age, I made a stupid decision." He told me, piquing my interest considerably, "I decided not to see Alfred off when he first went to the Army. He comes back just fine, I promise you, but... sometimes I think, if I saw him off... things would be just a little bit better today..."

I furrowed my brows, confused, "Why do you think that?"

"Because... then it might have hurt less when he gets drafted back to war..."

I shook my head a little, then asked, "But wouldn't the pain of your husband leaving still hurt the same?"

He laughed a little, a sad little chuckle, then said, "Boy, they're both the same man."

My jaw nearly dropped.

And yet somehow...

The only thing that really jumped out at me first was...

God yes, Alfred's gay too, time to shove it in his face!

I nearly begun cheering in delight at the news of something that I could tease him with, but then it hit me.

"But... I don't want this..." I muttered slowly, getting a near heartbroken look from my older counterpart.

"Neither did I when I found out... And there is a choice you can take. The same choice I was given when I was your age."

I turned to him, fear in my eyes of what seemed to be the horrible future I had to submit to. A future of pain and desertion and heartache.

Older Arthur looked me straight in the eye and said, "You can either live life without suffering the burdens of finding your one and only love, forever alone and drifting from relationship to empty relationship, never filling the void that'll grow in your heart... or you can love Alfred despite the fact that this day will come and that the fact that he will most likely die in battle will tear you apart so terribly inside you wouldn't be able to function."

"To have loved and lost or to never have loved at all..." I simplified shakily, unsure of which path would bring more pain.

"You have your choice." He sighed out tiredly, then whispered a quick spell and vanished from my sight.

I sat there for a moment longer, then checked my watch.

Eight o'three.

I got to my feet and ran for the gate door that opened up into the driveway.


End file.
